Horror Stories

Halloween 2019

The following horror story was anonymously submitted by a TWAPS member for Halloween 2019.

His/her submission wins a £25 tackle voucher.

Congratulations to the Member concerned…


“I was fishing a match at Blue Water from the shingle beach. We didn’t start the match until 10am because of traffic problems. It was a quiet match with the usual banter going around the lake. We didn’t have mobile phones back then, so no interruptions from various ringtones going off. Unfortunately, it also meant no communications with the wife/girlfriend/partner etc., for some fishermen this was a blessing, their day off from chores.

On this particular day, I was half way through the match, when I heard a car drive through the open gate at speed. A lady got out of the car and started shouting and screaming at the fisherman next to me. I caught some of the words she said and she mentioned Sunday lunch.

What I didn’t realise was that she was holding a full plate of Sunday roast in her hands. Hurrying down the shingle beach, she then turned the plate upside down and firmly planted said contents with some force on poor unfortunate fisherman’s head. At the same time I turned to see what was happening and a batter pudding came flying off the plate and hit me squarely in the eye. Now, I am not one to criticize anyone’s cooking, but I don’t remember my mother making batter puddings as hard as rock cakes. Out of my now rapidly swelling eye, I looked over to see 3 slices of chicken firmly entrenched on his head, with what I have to say was quite a good selection of vegetables slowly running down the rest of him. The lady, presumed to be girlfriend or wife (although I am just guessing here) had long since stormed back into her car and sped off.

I went to work next day with a black and blue eye and the usual banter of ‘who did you go 3 rounds with’ ‘did you bump into a door’ ‘No, I got hit in the eye by a batter pudding’ silent pause, rapturous laughter. I never did live it down.”

Fishing Horror Stories
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TWAPS Updates

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Inn on the Lake – Inn on the Lake – Fishery Re-opening


The fish at the Inn on the Lake fishery appear to have finished spawning. Therefore the Inn on the Lake fishery will be open again from 8am Monday 1st July 2024.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

The Committee

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Waste food, unused bait and litter


Some of our waters, especially at the Inn on the Lake and Cobham, have recently been experiencing a vermin problem. This is being monitored weekly.

To help to prevent this situation continuing can you please ensure that you not discard unused or waste food and bait, and that you take it all home, together with all your litter, after your session.

Thank you for your cooperation.

The Committee

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Access to Cobham

When visiting the Cobham fishery please DO NOT use the short cut track between the gate cottage and the main track cattle grid if it’s taped off.

Also please keep to the main track and avoid driving on the grass.

Members seen using the short cut when it’s taped off, or driving on the grass will have their membership suspended pending a Committee enquiry.

Thank you for your cooperation.

The Committee

Polite Reminder – Pike Fishing


This is a polite reminder to inform you that fishing for pike is now banned on all TWAPS waters until 1st October 2024. Pike fishing is only permitted from 1st October until 31st March each year.

The Committee

Inn on the Lake Fish Survey

In March 2024 a fish survey was carried out by AE Fisheries on the Main Lake at the Inn on the Lake. See the ‘Fish Survey’ section on the Inn on the Lake page.

Other surveys are to follow at Shorne Country Park, Cobham and the Middle Lake
at the Inn on the Lake. These are to be carried out during the winter of 2024-25.

Carp pellets for sale


The Head Bailiff, Gary Bushell, has acquired carp pellets for sale to TWAPS Members at cost price.

If you would like to purchase some, or find out more details, contact Gary – BY TEXT ONLY PLEASE.

His number is on your membership card.

The Committee

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Inn on the Lake – Main Lake Jetty


The owners of the Inn on the Lake Hotel have complained that some TWAPS Members are feeding fish from the jetty.

The jetty and patio areas are STRICTLY OUT OF BOUNDS to all Members for feeding or fishing.

Any Member caught either feeding or fishing from the jetty or patio areas will receive an instant suspension pending a disciplinary hearing.

We are currently waiting for the CCTV footage to be looked at.

The Committee

Inn on the Lake, Main Lake, Swim 18 Closure

Swim 18 on the Main Lake at the Inn on the Lake is permanently closed.

The Committee

Stocking Update

Saturday 16th December.

Fish supplied by VS Fisheries.

Delivered and stocked:

At the Inn On The Lake – 2 x c7s:
One fully scaled mirror of 29lb 4oz, known as “Hammond’s Mirror”.
One mirror of 27lb 10oz, known as “Buxton’s” Mirror.
These two fish were named after the two longest serving Committee Members.

At Cobham
Cobham bottom pond – 50x c3 mirrors up 6lb 5oz.

At Shorne Country Park
100 x C2s in to Long Lake, up to 3lb 8oz.
100 x C2s in to steps lake.

Photos for Cobham and Shorne to follow.

TWAPS is always building and protecting our stocks for the future.

Only silvers and tench to arrive now – in the new year.

The Committee.

Dip tanks at the Inn on the Lake and Cobham


It is compulsory for you to use the dip tanks provided at both the Inn on the Lake and Cobham fisheries. Please use them to dip your landing nets, unhooking mats (and cradles etc.) and weigh slings upon arrival at the fishery and certainly BEFORE placing your nets in the water or when you start fishing.

If you are found not to have done this you will be asked to leave the fishery.

Repeat offenders may be subject to disciplinary action.

Thank you for your cooperation.

The Committee